For the past thirteen years you have blessed me with your sweetness, your gentle spirit, and your love. For so long you gave me comfort, companionship, and a warm, fuzzy lap. Your beauty, grace and quiet voice were a balm to a weary heart. Freya grant thee peace, Little One, Idun grant thee rest.

Cinmoui “Fuzzy Britches” Burkey, January 2000 – April 2013

After Carson Daly made his asinine remarks about gay people not being tough enough to have handled the bonkers Jet Blue pilot – which he later apologized for – I have to admit that I was half-way into my cast iron panties and bitch slapping pumps before you could say “Nurse! Stoli!!!” The throne room was in absolute chaos as I made preparations for a special trip to the set of The Voice, just to show Carson how tough a drag queen can be. After all, I’ve been assaulted 8 times in my adult life – 5 of those times while in full regalia – and ended up on the top of the heap, my dignity and skin intact, when the police finally showed up.

But then my feeder burped, and another mother – one with far more cause to be outraged, and one mustering far more grace and heroism than Mommie Dammit could under the circumstances – made me stop dead in my tracks.

Alice Hoagland, the mother of Mark Bingham, star rugby player and a hero of UA Flight 93, wrote a response to Daly taking him to task for his bigotry. The full text of Mrs. Hoagland’s letter is below the picture…

Alice Hoagland and her son, Mark Bingham

Dear Mr. Daly:

With your on-the-air comments [Wednesday] morning, you demonstrated an ugly ignorance. But [Wednesday] afternoon you also showed the grace to apologize for your odd remarks, as you should. I hope that now you’ll take the opportunity to learn about the gay community, and how diverse it is. Gay men and women come in every shape and size: short, tall, slender, stout, delicate, and powerful. They do not deserve to be stereotyped, nor categorized. Yes, my gay son was known in our family for bringing me flowers on my birthday and Mother’s Day. He also was known for careening down the rugby pitch, and, on the morning of September 11, 2001, for charging unarmed down the aisle of a doomed Boeing 757 to face knife-wielding Islamist thugs in a hijacked cockpit. No one among his pick-up team of fellow passengers was asking “Are you straight? Are you gay?” No one doubted that a guy who weighed 220 and stood 6’4” tall — who could run over a charging opponent on the field, and ran with the bulls in Pamplona earlier that summer — would be an asset to a desperate group trying to overcome a threat onboard an airliner. My son and the brave straight guys who fought alongside him weren’t able to save their own lives that morning. Terrorists plowed the plane underground during the struggle for controls. But Mark and his fellow passengers were able to keep UA Flight 93 from crashing into the U.S. Capitol Dome, and kept many people in Washington, D.C. off the rolls of the dead.

The world has its share of strong, heroic gay men. Gay men in sports uniforms and military uniforms have been winning America’s games and fighting America’s battles for a long time: quietly, humbly, and in the face of vicious bigotry.

I hope you and I may have an opportunity to talk sometime. I prefer to believe you didn’t mean to offend. Good luck to you.

Alice Hoagland
Mother of Mark Bingham
California Golden Bears Rugby, University of California, Berkeley
San Francisco Fog Rugby Club
United Airlines Flight 93 Newark to San Francisco 9/11/2001

Thank you, Alice. Thank you for your Mother’s wisdom, your eloquent words, and your beloved son.

Its been a busy couple of weeks for Mommie Dammit, especially since the First Lady graced us with a visit to Kansas City. Its been a time for some really wonderful events – and a few we could do without, namely a couple of unwelcome appearances by the freaks from Westboro Baptist Church Cult. First they plopped themselves down like a turd in the punchbowl at the DNC fundraiser, with their hateful and full-of-shit posters. The 18^th & Vine Jazz District was fouled with their bile and our ears dinned by their blaring boom-box. Making matters worse, the Secret Service and KCMO PD took their sweet time making them leave. Yet, as my beloved grandmother used to tell me, even the smelliest manure can work small miracles – their unwelcome appearance afforded me the opportunity to have a welcome discussion with a few of the other business people in our office building. And you just know that any opportunity Mommie Dammit gets to fire off at the lip, I’m gonna jump on that like Brittney Spears on a qualude.

Last weekend was full of delights for Mommie Dammit! First, it was the 6^th annual celebration of Harriet Tubman Day here in Kansas City. The festivities were held at the Bruce R. Watkins Cultural Heritage Center, where I was treated to a morning filled with inspiring stories of women who made an impact on our culture, our history, and our lives. The event – for me – was topped off by a performance of a 20 minute segment from the musical “A Triumph of the Spirit – a musical about Harriet Tubman” by Shirley E. Oglesby Smith Johnson. My special treat – aside from the magical performance by Mrs. Johnson – was to watch my friend and coworker, Terri Anderson, as she portrayed Tubman’s guardian angel. It was moving, and I can’t wait to attend the full performance at the Gem Theatre, June 2^nd. My only regret was that all the pictures I took, and the short video clips of the various performances, decided that they did NOT want to leave my phone and go to my computer… they decided to delete themselves instead. Some day I really WILL learn to use this damned HTC Evo… maybe.

That same Saturday afternoon came an event of major significance for the LGBT community in Kansas City, and Mommie Dammit was delighted to attend and to see the terrific turn-out. March 10^th saw the grand opening of the new LikeMe Lighthouse, a love-project from a hometown-girl-made-good Miss Chely Wright.

Chely Wright

To quote the sweet lady herself, “LikeMe is about inclusion. LikeMe is about respect. LikeMe is about meeting and knowing people and choosing to seek out ways in which we might be similar, rather than the ways we might be different. LikeMe is about being who you are meant to be.” I look forward to seeing our local Lighthouse become a powerhouse in the community, and I encourage everyone to visit, volunteer, donate, or just come in and meet with others like ourselves – and maybe get a hug if you need one. The LikeMe Lighthouse is located at 39^th and Main in KCMO, and is open to everyone – LGBTQI, family, friends, and allies – Monday through Friday, 9:am to 9:pm.

Saturday night was another treat, as Chely hosted an entire bus-load of music and comedic talent for the LikeMe Lighthouse fundraiser at the UMKC Student Union Theatre… which is also the only photo I took that day that survived my bumbling with the Evo.

Unfortunately, Mommie Dammit learned about the concert rather late in the game and ended up in the nose-bleed section. Which means that all of the shots I took during the concert were nearly black. Seems even a $480 smart phone has it’s limitations. Sigh!

Chely gave a rambunctious performance of a half dozen of her hits, and dedicated one in particular to her lovely wife – Lauren Blitzer – who joined the audience in clapping along and dancing in our seats. Joining Chely were local K.C. artist Kristie Stremel, CNN’s Thomas Roberts, Grammy nominee Jennifer Knapp, former Q.A.F. Lead Hal Sparks, The Real L Word’s Stacy Ryerson & Stamie Karakasidis, and my favorite multi-mega-talented Scotsman Alan Cumming.

Alan Cumming

Jennifer Knapp

Tracy & Stamie

Thomas Roberts

Frankly, I can’t wait until Kristie hits the big-time. The girl’s a natural with acoustic guitar, and has an excellent voice for rock and soul. As for Jennifer Knapp – GAWDZ!!!- if you don’t have this woman’s albums already then get off your lazy ass and go get ‘em! Incredible voice. Tracy and Stamie were a riot, and it was a whole bunch of fun to finally see their stand-up. Thomas proved an excellent MC for the event, and – besides being a handsome devil that Mommie Dammit would eat with my fingers – revealed that he has a subtle, evil sense of humor. Hal Sparks? What can I say… the man had me in hysterics with his wicked humor. Straight boy or not, Hal, you’re still Mommie Dammit’s favorite flavor of Slurpie!

And then there is Alan Cumming, possibly the most lickable… um, “likeable” thing to come out of Scotland in many a year. Alan treated us to comedy, cabaret, and he really brought down the house with his cover of “Edge of Glory”…

Now, if only he wasn’t already happily married to Grant Shaffer… sigh! Oh, well – I’d still lick … um, I still LIKE HIM… seriously… a lot… especially with Hershey’s Syrup and maybe some strawberries?

After over 3 hours of wonderful entertainment, Mommie Dammit hauled my tired rubber titties off to bed and tried to get some rest for the finale on Sunday… but for some reason nocturnal fantasies of a 4-way with Alan, Thomas, and Hal left me more sated exhausted than ever. Hmmm…

Sunday dawned bright and cheery, and I was off to the LikeMe Lighthouse again. This time for the NOH8 Campaign event, with founders Adam Bouska and Jeff Parshley. One look at the line when I finally managed to haul my toucass over there, and I knew the chances of getting my photo taken for the campaign were next to nil. But I’m ecstatic for the turnout they had, and very happy to have had such a fan-freakin’-tastic weekend. Big thank you’s to my buddy Terri, and to Chely Wright for making this a weekend to remember!

Shut up already! I’m working on something that requires brain-cells…  I heard that!!!FINE!, yes – the few remaining ones I have are all vodka-fueled, but they’re still fully functional.  Expect a couple of big posts by the middle of next week.

In the meantime, Mommie Dammit’s gonna have a very busy weekend. First there’s the Harriet Tubman Day festival at the Bruce R. Watkins Cultural Heritage Center (3700 Blue Parkway, KCMO) on Saturday, March 10th. The festival starts at 10:am. Next, is the Grand Opening of the LikeMe Lighthouse (39th and Main, KCMO) from 9:am till….  Ah, and then Sunday they’re hosting the NO H8 Campaign event from 12:noon till 3:pm.

So, no – I don’t just lie around in my pantaloons thinkin’ up ways to torment my brain-damaged children. I gots stuff!… now where the hell’s that Stoli….?

Ahhhhhh….  Gives me goosebumps and giggles.